Walking the Dog is Great Cover

I borrowed my son's dog to take a walk this morning. Our own dog, Gimli, just died of cancer, and until we can find another pooch, Mary will be substituting.

She won't mind. She's a border collie, full of unburned calories, and loves it, but I have a more practical reason.

I'd rather not get arrested, thank you.

Here's the deal: When you go for a walk with a dog, you are obviously walking a dog, which is a very accepted thing to do.

People look at you and smile. "Cute dog," they say. "We saw you out with your dog the other day," they say.

"So nice to see you out with your dog," is common.

But try being a 64-year-old man taking a walk without a dog in the United States of 2013. This is the era of predators, child kidnapping, molestation and general mayhem, and there you are, just walking?

You aren't walking the dog. You aren't dressed for exercise so you aren't doing that, obviously. You're not hiking, because you aren't on a mountain trail.

You're just some old guy wandering around. Maybe following the same route every day, in fact.  Suspicious!

"We saw you without your dog and wondered," one neighbor actually said. "Where's Charlie going?"

So I'll be borrowing Mary. My son said to help myself. She's a good dog.

This has the added advantage of helping whittle down the pile of grocery bags at home. Ever since Gimli got sick and quit taking walks, they've tended to pile up despite our best efforts at using cloth bags for shopping.

And, I might add, the neighborhood is also, after today, missing half a dozen littered beer cans and water bottles.

You're welcome.