Ogden, Utah's Union Station has it's share of problems with the homeless.
This is inevitable. It is an old railroad station, which means it is right by the railroad tracks used by some transients to enter and leave town. Plus, being a city-owned museum, it's public space, which means it attracts folks looking for somewhere they can sit down.
Or camp out. Union Station houses the Utah Railroad Museum, which means we've got empty railroad cars sitting around. Transients like to crawl into them and sleep, or worse. One set up housekeeping in an old caboose, even ran in electricity, and was quite put out when told her to skedaddle.
Part of my duties as a volunteer here is to walk around and pick up litter, and I find refuse from transients quite often.
One day I was doing that when I met a roughly dressed fellow out back, standing near some railroad work cars -- a crane and a snowplow. He told me that his girlfriend and he had been sleeping in the snowplow car and said would I please not throw away her stuff -- crafting goods she apparently used to make jewelry to sell. I told him to tell her to get it out, and that was that.
A couple days later I went back, her stuff was still there, so I tossed it all out, but I also found, scattered around on the ground, evidence that the relationship those two had was rather rocky: scattered notebook sheet listing no fewer than 50 accusations he had made to her about her behavior.
It shows they shared a very rough and traumatic life. The amazing thing is they still shared it, or did until this, anyway. It's easy to say someone should just leave a weird relationship, but if it's the only one you have, you may hang on.
It all seems to have boiled up for him, however, because the intensity of this list is scary. It hints at a long night spent waiting for her to return and him growing more angry as he wrote reason after reason why.
What happened to him, or her, I have no clue. They are probably both transients, living in a mobile world full of drugs and other bad things you and I probably cannot imagine. If you've ever read the book "Ironweed" by William Kennedy, or watch the film starring Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep, you can probably get a hint, a tiny bit.
The sheet with numbers 1 through 6 was missing, but the remaining sheets are telling enough:
7. Every time we argue you jump strait to "OK, I'm leaving you."
8. You hit/hurt (threaten to) me phisically.
9. When we make plans you never stick to them and then have some reason why you had the worst night.
10. 15 mins=3 hrs. An hour = 12 hours.
11. You disappear for hours with no warning and any explanation and a lot of times get angry or tell me it isn't my business when I ask you about where and what you were into.
12. I cant have fun or be happy if you don't have any drugs.
13. You refuse to introduce me to "your friends."
14. Right now its dark and I haven't heard from you in a few hours as all you said was I'm going to look for my phone.
15. It's a problem if I spend my money that I make alone on what I want.
16. H.R.E.A.M.G. Heroin Rules Everything Around My Girl. I will never come first to you unless you stop doing heroin.
17. You do FAT shots that make you act like you have mental retardation.
18. You are most likely going to overdose. It's scary.
19. If you take off in a car with three douceh bags that are all crushing on you and don't come back until the next day (with new clothes, a lot of dope) it's all groovy. But if I give a female one cigarette I'm fucking her.
20. you have 0 percent trust in me and expect me to have 100 percent for you.
21. In front of people you will call me a nigger, disrespect me and be condescending then when I get angry I'm the asshole nobody likes.
22. The phone I gave to you is off limits to me and you are selective with.
23. You don't notice or appreciate anything I do for you.
24. You always leave me behind with a GIANT mess to clean.
25. You tell me you cheat on me then say you were lying.
26. You don't value our relationship or me half as much as I do you.
27.You guilt trip me into paying you.
28. Your always mad or in a bad mood and only smile/have fun and be happy when not with me.
29. You sound unsure when you say "I love you" and almost never do.
30. You take out your anger/frustration for a situation or person on me when I have no involvement.
31. You call me stupid/dummy/idiot.
32. You call me a NIGGER (if my grand father were alive he would backhand you for disrespecting me, then beat my ass for not hitting you.)
33. You have no sense of humor and can't take a joke.
34. Whats mine is yours, whats yours is too and your stuff is off limits.
35. I found you in a hotel with Jake and think you might have lied about what happened in there because you know I WILL KILL HIM.
36. You dont understand that when I say something I mean it and you test that when we are fighting.
37. We fight more than we love each other.
38. You yell and argue when we could just talke and debate.
39. You treat 100 percent of people better than me and treat me subhuman.
40. You NEVER go out of your way to make sure I know you love or care for me.
41. If I were to say "quit heroin or I'm done" there's a problem, but you have said that to me.
42. You act like you are hot shit and I'm lucky to be with you and you are beautiful but have a lot of "baggage" and I'm beautiful too but have very little "baggage."
43. You never apologize.
44. You never say thank you.
45. You have given the things I do for fun a try.
46. You are unable to accept me as I am.
47. You think its OK to steal from people.
48. Its been hours since I wrote #14 still ... nothing and nobody has seen you.
49. You project your insecurities on me and tell me how awful I am for them because its looking in a mirror and not seeing what you want, so you break it.
50. You never help pick up our camp.
And that's where it ended. And, yeah, where they were camped -- in the cab of our snowplow -- was a mess. When nothing changed there for a couple days I assumed they'd moved on and cleaned it all out.
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